


Sunny skies and rainy days

by kopperblaze



Series: Deliver Me Into My Fate [2]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Durin Family, Family feelings, mostly fluff but mentions of Vili's death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-04
Updated: 2015-01-04
Packaged: 2018-03-05 09:45:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3115481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kopperblaze/pseuds/kopperblaze
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Various oneshots and promptfills I wrote taking place in the Cursed Heart universe. </p><p>1 - Kili won't hold still for Fili to practice his braiding, so Vili steps in<br/>2 - Vili thinks Thorin is too hard on Fili<br/>3 - Dis and Kili wait for Fili and Thorin to return from the market (I just wanted to write baby Kili, really)<br/>4 - Fili tries to make the perfect birthday present for Dis<br/>5 - Fili says goodbye to his father before the quest to reclaim Erebor</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> “Adad!” Fili complains from behind him, tugging on his hair.
> 
> “Begging your pardon, Master Fili,” Vili grins behind his curtain of hair and pulls a face at Kili that sends his youngest into a fit of giggles. “I’ll be holding still now.”

* * *

 

“Mama! Kili won’t sit still,” Fili complains, frowning at the wriggling dwarfling. Kili cackles happily and pats Fili’s cheek with spit-slick fingers.

“Fi!”

“Ew,” Fili whispers and furiously wipes his cheek with the sleeve of his tunic. “Mama!”

“‘aaaaaaa!” Kili joins enthusiastically, standing on wobbly legs and looking around expectantly.

“What’s this commotion about then?”

Kili squeaks and holds out his arms, taking a shaky step towards Vili, who picks him up with a chuckle and a smacking kiss to the cheek.

“Kili won’t sit still,” Fili repeats, frowning at the wolfskin rug he’s sitting on and tugging at the fur.

“Kili never sits still, lad, that’s hardly news.” Already Kili is wriggling in Vili’s arms again, kicking his legs in an attempt to be let down. Sometimes his little boy is more difficult to hold onto than a fish.

“No, but I’m supposed to practice my braiding,” Fili admits.

“Ah,” Vili nods. His stubborn little dwarfling, always trying to excel at everything. It worries Vili sometimes. Fili is too earnest for his age, weighed down by burdens that are not his own, that should not be his inheritance. Vili is but a simple miner who has no use for the protocols and traditions of long dead kings. So he stands by as Fili is raised the crown prince of a burnt mountain, and does his best to balance his son’s sense of duty with a sense of freedom and joy before his young spine is twisted entirely out of shape.

“I’d imagine your brother is not a very good subject to practice on.” As if the make a point Kili growls as he stalks across the room and pounces on a toy soldier like a cat on its prey. Clutching the wooden figure in his hands he rolls onto his back and Vili shakes his head.

“You can practice on me, if you like.”

Fili’s eyes widen comically, and before he can recite a line about not wanting to be an inconvenience, Vili pulls over a chair and sits down on the rug in front of it. He starts undoing the braids in his hair and combs his fingers through it until it hangs loosely around his face. Curious as to what is happening Kili toddles over, toy soldier forgotten by the fire. Before he can attempt to climb up on the chair and stand next to Fili, Vili grabs him around the waist and pulls him into his lap, tickling his side.

“Adad!” Fili complains from behind him, tugging on his hair.

“Begging your pardon, Master Fili,” Vili grins behind his curtain of hair and pulls a face at Kili that sends his youngest into a fit of giggles. “I’ll be holding still now.”

Fili works diligently, his little fingers occasionally tugging and pulling on Vili’s hair. Kili, after realising that his father won’t roll around on the floor with him, collects all the toys in the room one by one and brings them over, putting them in Vili’s lap. By the time Dis comes to call them for dinner his legs are buried beneath toys and his hair full of crooked braids. Her laughter rings out like a silver bell and Vili thinks to himself that he needs no mountain, no great halls and riches, as long as he has this.

~

The next morning Vili asks Fili to help him braid his hair. For a moment he is afraid that Fili is going to choke on his porridge, but then his dwarfling swallows and nods, almost bursting with pride. He has already done most of his hair, his own fingers moving quickly with years of experience, save the braid behind his right ear. He lets Fili do that one with Kili cheering him on from across the table.

“Thank you, inùdoy.” His lips twitch into a smile to mirror Fili’s. “Be good today and get into some mischief.”

Fili’s smile turns shy but he nods and wraps his arms around Vili’s waist, pressing his face into his father’s stomach. Vili cards his fingers through Fili’s hair, so much like his own in texture and colour. A selfish part of him is glad that despite all the pomp around Durin’s line, Fili’s Broadbeam heritage still shines through.

“Meeeeeeeee!” Kili howls from his high chair and Fili tilts his head up, sharing a knowing look with his father. Vili cups his cheek before turning to Kili.

“Yes, my caterwauling jewel?”

Kili tries to stand up in his chair and points to the floor. Once he’s been lifted from the chair and sat down he wobbles over to his chest of toys. Bringing back a wooden soldier full of teeth marks he thrusts it into Vili’s hand.

“For me? But that’s your favourite, Kili.”

Kili only nods self-importantly. Clearly he’s not to be left behind if Fili gets to give Vili a braid. “Thank you, my son. I shall hand it back to you tonight.”

He tucks the toy away in the pocket of his jerkin before kissing his sons goodbye. Dis is waiting for him by the door, arms crossed and a smile on her face.

“What?”

She smooths out the lapel of his coat before fingering the braid behind his right ear. “You look ridiculous.”

Fili’s braid is crooked and uneven, standing out among the rest of Vili’s neat hair. A prince he may not be, but as all dwarves Vili is vain to a fault about his hair. It does not matter though because he could never be prouder of anything in this world than he is of his sons. As far as he is concerned Fili’s braid is the most perfect in all of Arda.

“I love you too,” he laughs, pressing a kiss to her cheek before stepping out the door.

With Fili’s braid in his hair, Kili’s toy in his pocket and Dis’ smile in his heart, Vili thinks that he is richer than any dwarf in Erebor ever was.

~

Just like the riches of Erebor, the riches of Vili, son of Nain, are buried that day. The toy soldier never makes its way back to Kili, finding its grave in the mines alongside Fili’s crooked braid and Dis’ smile.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “He is my son and I will not have you put the weight of your legacy on him, Thorin Oakenshield,” Vili says, voice like steel. It is rare that he gets angry, but his wife’s brother has always managed to bring out a temper few know he possesses.

* * *

 

“You’re too hard on him.”

Thorin glances over at like he’s contemplating if he should even reply, before he turns his eyes back to Fili, trying to follow Dwalin’s instructions on swinging a sword much too large for his small frame.

“He is a prince. He must learn.”

Vili clamps his lips together so he won’t scoff. ‘A prince of what?’ he thinks. ‘A mountain turning into glorified myth?’ He counts to ten and exhales slowly.

“That he may be, but he is also a child.”

“I’m not asking more or less of him than was asked of me at that age,” Thorin retorts and this time Vili can’t help but roll his eyes. Is it supposed to reassure him to see the future of his son in a dwarf who only knows duty and has been robbed of his smile by a past he can’t let go?

“That’s different.” Thorin grew up in Erebor, surrounded by it’s splendour, his path in life clear. Fili is growing up in Ered Luin as the son of a miner with the future wide open for him to do whatever makes him happy.

“I don’t see how.” There’s a flatness to Thorin’s voice that Vili knows all too well from his wife. It means Thorin is not seeing the point of this talk, growing impatient with Vili for not accepting his point of view. Stubbornness is inherent to the line of Durin.

“Fili is not going to inherit a crown anytime soon.” Maybe it’s cruel, but it’s the truth. Watching his son struggling on the training grounds, his cheeks flushed, Vili knows that he won’t back down. He’s witnessed his son struggling to stay awake after dinner to perfect his runes because they are still too ‘wonky’, has seen him shamefaced because he couldn’t remember one thing or another in his lessons that day. His dwarfling has barely seen fifteen summers and Vili will not have his childhood stolen for forgotten gold. “There is no need for you to drill him like this.”

“I think it is best if you leave the education of my heir to me.”

Vili loves Thorin like a brother, but like a brother he sometimes wants to wrestle him to the ground and rub mud in his face. See how kingly Thorin will be then.

“He is my son and I will not have you put the weight of your legacy on him, Thorin Oakenshield,” Vili says, voice like steel. It is rare that he gets angry, but his wife’s brother has always managed to bring out a temper few know he possesses.

“I am no-“

“I will take him fishing tomorrow,” Vili interrupts, taking grim pleasure in the way Thorin grinds his teeth together. He hates to be interrupted, Vili knows.

“He’s got lessons.”

“Are you getting deaf in your old age, Oakenshield? I’m taking my son fishing tomorrow,” Vili repeats before he leaves Thorin standing and walks onto the training grounds.

“Master Dwalin! My thanks to you.” Vili bows. “But I’m afraid it is time for dinner now.”

Looking at the sun standing low in the sky Dwalin nods. “Aye, right ye are. I dare say this lil’ warrior has earned his meal today.”

Fili positively glows with pride at Dwalin’s words. “Did you watch me, papa?”

“Course I did,” Vili winks, sharing a grin with Dwalin. “And I’m mighty proud of you.”

It should be impossible, but Fili beams even more. It’s that golden smile that Vili guards with swords and axes, teeth and claws, so it won’t be tarnished like the other treasures of Durin’s line.

“But your mother is still going to have our hide if we’re late for dinner.” In a practiced move he lifts Fili up so he can sit on his shoulders. “I hope mighty warriors such as yourself are not too old to be carried.”

Fili giggles and shakes his head no, grabbing two fistfuls of Vili’s hair.

“Good,” he smiles, wrapping his hands around Fili’s ankles and carrying his treasure home.


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Mama, look,” he says eventually and opens his mouth, pushing his tongue against his canine tooth, which wiggles a little.

* * *

 

Kili kicks his legs and leans into her side, taking another bite of the apple he’s holding with both hands. Feefee is propped up on the bench next to him, the stuffed toy his brother had made for Kili when he was born never far from his side.   
  
“Is Fee coming back now?” He asks for what feels like the hundred time, looking up at Dis. Taking another drag from her pipe she can’t resist tapping his button nose.   
  
“Soon, jewel.”   
  
He wrinkles his nose and takes a vicious bite out of his apple. Making him stay behind while Thorin and Fili went to the market hadn’t been easy, but Kili has only just gotten over a cold and Dis is not willing to risk him getting sick again. Mahal she loves her children more than anything, but especially her youngest has a penchant for dramatics that tries her patience.It’s only enhanced when he’s sick.   
  
“Can I have another apple?”   
  
Meat is expensive, especially when trying to feed a household full of males, so Dis is glad that least her youngest has a great love for vegetables and fruit. Though sometimes even she is astonished at the quantities he manages to consume. Once she returned to the kitchen after hanging up the laundry outside to discover Kili having eaten an entire bowl of tomatoes.   
  
“It’s ‘may’,” she corrects absently, tugging his hat back down over his ears. “And you’ll have to ask nanna. They are her apples.”   
  
Ever since Vili’s death they have taken to spending a lot of time at Vila’s house. Naturally she doesn’t want to give up her home to move in with Dis, so Dis just brings the boys and her brother over a lot so her mother-in-law isn’t so lonely.   
  
“You watch Feefee,” Kili commands as he hops down from the bench. All the layers Dis has put him into make him waddle a little as he tries to race inside and Dis bites down on a grin. Maybe she’s put him into a few too many clothes after all, but Kili had been an unholy terror after being cooped up inside for days. He’s still not healthy enough to run around outside with his brother, so Dis compromised by taking him to sit outside on the bench under the condition that he dressed warmly.   
  
She’s barely taken another drag from her pipe when Kili returns, clutching another apple to his chest and beaming widely at her. One of his front teeth came out the other day and for some reason the gap in his teeth only makes him look more adorable.   
  
“Look!” He held the apple up for her to inspect. “I got another apple because nanna loves me!”   
  
“Of course she does,” Dis laughs, scooping her youngest up into her arms and cuddling him close, delighting in his giggles. Kili wiggles until he’s comfortable before starting to munch his apple. Halfway through he stops, a thoughtful look on his face.   
  
“Mama, look,” he says eventually and opens his mouth, pushing his tongue against his canine tooth, which wiggles a little.   
  
“Oh another one already,” Dis smiles, thinking to herself that her baby is growing up far too fast. “It’ll come out on its own soon enough. None of that asking Fili to tie yarn around it and rip it out.”   
  
Kili pulls a face but nods grouchily. “Do you think the Tooth Smith is gonna come again and collect it?”   
  
“I’m sure he will,” Dis tweaks his nose. “If you’re good.”   
  
“Mama!” Kili laughs and reaches up to tug on her braids. “I’m always good!”   
  
“Well, I guess you are right,” Dis gives in, hugging him close. “You’re just very creative.” Only last week Kili had dropped apple seeds all over the house because he wanted trees to grow inside.   
  
“Look, there’s your brother and uncle,” Dis says as she spots her brother’s large and Fili’s small form trudging down the road. Kili squirms out of her lap and runs to meet them, throwing himself at his brother like he hasn’t seen him in years. Fili is carrying a few small parcels and shows them to Kili, obviously proud that he is deemed old enough to help with the shopping. Dis is certain that they ought to relish this while it lasts. In a few years Fili will probably start complaining bitterly about having to haul parcels home.   
  
Kili dances around his brother and uncle until Thorin scoops him up and lifts him up over his head. Kili kicks his legs and spreads his arms and his high-pitched, childish laughter mingles with the deep rumble of Thorin’s laugh.   
  
Dis watches them walk towards her with a smile, Kili chattering a mile a minute and nearly hitting Thorin in the face a few times as he gestures wildly. Her brother listens attentively, like Kili is telling the most important tale in the universe, while Fili laughs and reaches up to poke his brother’s leg.   
  
Putting out her pipe Dis stows it in her apron. It has taken a long time, but these days she feels content more often than not, watching her three lads and letting the boys fill the empty spaces in the house. 


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With each day that passes Fili's tummy ache gets worse as he thinks about mama's birthday and his lack of a present for her.

* * *

 

With each day that passes Fili's tummy ache gets worse as he thinks about mama's birthday and his lack of a present for her. Kili has already made a bunch of drawings, happy as can be about them. Usually Fili would sit at the table with him and colour diligently, making his picture for mama perfect. But colouring is for little dwarflings like Kili, not for soon to be warriors like Fili, so this year he needs a different present.   
  
At first he had wondered if he should ask uncle Thorin for help, but upon closer consideration Fili had realised that uncle Thorin never bought presents. For Fili's last name day he had gifted him with a wooden sword that he had carved himself. For mama he had made a set of earrings on Durin's day, and for Kili a set of wooden soldiers.   
  
It gets Fili thinking though and in between his lessons (and sometimes during, until Mister Balin scowls and taps his knuckles) he wonders what he could make for mama.    
  
The perfect gift for mama smacks Fili in the head one day when he walks home from his lessons, holding Kili's sticky hand and listening to his brother's chatter.   
  
Mama is sitting on the bench on front of their house, the one she used to sit on with papa, smoking her pipe. She hasn't seen them approach yet, instead watching her bird with a smile. Fili calls it her bird because it's always around, sitting on the windowsills or the back of the bench and chirping happily at mama.   
  
The bird never chirps for Fili (nor for Kili, but considering his brother's loud nature and inclination to chase after everything that moves Fili can understand that) or sits with him. Only ever with mama. Sometimes Fili imagines that it's a guardian spirit, sent by Mahal to keep watch over his mama.  
  
Winter is approaching though and mama's bird is going to be cold.   
  
"Kee, I forgot something," Fili says, stopping. "Can you walk the rest of the way alone?" Usually he would not let his brother out of sight. Kili get's distracted too easily and one time they frantically searched the entire village for him only to discover that instead of walking home from uncle Balin's, which is only three houses down the road, he chased after a squirrel.   
  
"Yes," Kili nods, squaring his shoulders like he is a warrior embarking on an important task.   
  
"It's just down the road, see mama there?" Fili asks, pointing at her. "Don't go wandering or I'll be in trouble."   
  
"No, Fee," Kili replies obediently, pushing up on his tiptoes and pressing a kiss to Fili's cheek. "Bye, Fee."   
  
"Bye, Kili," Fili smiles before turning around and breaking into a run. He knows exactly who'll be able to help him.   
  
~  
  
With each day that passes mama's name day draws closer and Fili's excitement grows. He spends most of his afternoon at Bofur's after classes, his mother and Thorin accepting his vague explanations about an important project for Mister Balin.   
  
When mama's name day finally comes Fili wakes up early in the morning, his stomach swooping with excitement. Climbing out of bed he gets mama's present from the bottom of his trunk, where it was hidden under a pile of clothes that were sure to deter Kili's interest. With uttermost care he balances the cloth-wrapped parcel in his hands and walks down the stairs, one at a time.   
  
Uncle Thorin is already awake and preparing breakfast, as he always does on mama's birthday. He looks grumpy and his hair is wild and messy. Fili barely manages not to giggle at seeing his usually regal uncle in such a state.   
  
"What is it that you find so funny, little imp?" Thorin asks, looking over his shoulder at Fili. The corners of his lips are twitching though, so Fili knows he isn't in trouble.   
  
"Nothing," he says and lifts his present onto the tabletop.   
  
It isn't long until he can hear his mother's footsteps on the stairs. She isn't very good at sleeping in, not like Kili is.   
  
"Happy name day, mama!" Fili beams and runs to greet her with a hug, burrowing his face in her belly. She cards a hand through his hair and when Fili smiles up at her he's rewarded with a wide smile in return.   
  
"Thank you, my darling."   
  
Fili takes her hand and leads Dis over to the table, practically vibrating with excitement.   
  
"I made you a present!"   
  
"Good morning, Dis. And happy name day."   
  
"Thank you, brother." Dis smiles at Thorin before looking down at Fili again, trying to divide her attention between the two of them.   
  
"Did you, my love?"  
  
"Yes! Unpack it!" Fili beams and climbs up onto the bench so he can see better. He barely manages not to bounce on the balls of his feet, remembering warnings about falling down and hurting himself. Mama pulls back the cloth, revealing the birdhouse Mister Bofur helped Fili to build. Once it had been assembled Fili had spent a few afternoons by himself painting it and etching the runes for “family” above the door.   
  
“Oh. Fili, this is lovely. Did you build it yourself?”   
  
“Yes,” Fili nods proudly. Even Thorin looks impressed by it, which makes Fili glow with even more pride. “Mister Bofur helped.” It’s only fair to mention. “It’s for your bird,” he explains, tugging on the sleeve of Dis’ tunic. “So he’ll have a warm place in winter, when it’s cold. Because he can’t come into the house.”   
  
Dis mouth hangs open for a second before her lips curve into a wide smile and she leans down to hug Fili, enfolding him in her warmth. She smells like the earth and spices and like home and Fili burrows his face in the crook of her neck. “The bird makes you smile, so I don’t want it to go away. I don’t want you to be sad, mama.” Fili still remembers mama crying when papa went away.   
  
He doesn’t see the way his mother’s smile turns wistful or the way Thorin turns back to the stove, his jaw set.   
  
“You’re always so thoughtful, my Fili.”   
  
“So you like it?” Fili asks, looking at her hopefully.   
  
“I love it.” Dis leans down and presses a kiss to his cheek.   
  
After breakfast Thorin puts the birdhouse up outside, where it remains for many years. The paint fades and one day mama’s bird doesn’t return, and Fili and Kili grow up. Still she refuses to take it down.   
  
As they set off for a quest that will bring them glory or damnation, Fili casts a glance back when they are at the end of the road, looking at the rickety bench and the old birdhouse. Clutching the runestone mama gave him in his fist he raises it to his lips, pressing a quick kiss to it, sending a prayer to the Maker to gift her another guardian spirit to keep her safe while they are gone.   
  



	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fili stands in silence for a few heartbeats, tracing the runes etched onto the headstone of his father's grave. Wind and weather have worn it down. It looks old and forgotten and Fili swallows hard. He has fought his entire life to keep his father's memory alive, but the picture of him is faded in Fili's mind, nothing but a vague memory of a dwarf with golden hair and a wide smile.

* * *

 

Fili steals away from the celebrations early. He should stay and watch out for Kili, make sure his brother gets home in time to get some sleep before their departure tomorrow. Else he'll have to deal with a hungover, miserable grouch. But who knows when the next opportunity for a merry gathering will come, so Kili should enjoy himself while he can. Who knows when they will sit around a table with their friends and family again.   
  
Walking through the forest Fili breathes deeply, the cold air blowing away some of the alcoholic fog obscuring his thoughts. The moon lights his path, the skies are clear and the stars shining bright. It would be a brilliant night, if the morning would not weigh so heavy on Fili's mind.   
  
Out here in Ered Luin they have no great halls to bury their dead, so they lie in a sacred clearing in the forest, stones on their graves because it just isn't right to leave a dwarf buried beneath earth and grass, without the beat of the stone.   
  
His feet know the way and before he knows it Fili is on the other end of the clearing in front of a lavish grave. Or what passes as lavish in Ered Luin. Each dwarf who loved and respected him gave a stone, and they pile high on the grave of Vili, son of Nili.   
  
Fili stands in silence for a few heartbeats, tracing the runes etched onto the headstone of his father's grave. Wind and weather have worn it down. It looks old and forgotten and Fili swallows hard. He has fought his entire life to keep his father's memory alive, but the picture of him is faded in Fili's mind, nothing but a vague memory of a dwarf with golden hair and a wide smile. He can't recall the exact shape of his father's nose, or the form of his eyes. He remembers a rumbling voice from his childhood, but it might as well be thunder in the distance. In truth reality and imagination have woven together so tightly that Fili isn't sure which parts of his father he has made up and which are real.   
  
"Evening, da," he mumbles, sitting down in the damp grass in front of Vili's grave. He pulls out a few blades and rubs them between his fingertips.   
  
"So...guess this is the last time I'll come by for a while. We're leaving tomorrow." And he doesn't know if they'll return. If this quest succeeds, if the line of Durin is restored to their rightful place under the mountain, Fili doubts that he will ever return to Ered Luin.   
  
"Silly, isn't it? That I don't want to leave you behind," he mutters, ripping more grass out. It's something that's been on a while for his mind now. If they leave and reclaim their home of old, it means that his father will stay here alone, his body so far away from the mountain. It's stupid because by now he is nothing but dust and bones (no, no Fili doesn't want to imagine him like this) and his spirit is in the ancient halls of the Maker, and yet...and yet he can't let go off the thought.   
  
"I wonder if you'd be proud of us," he admits, raising his eyes to look at the heap of stones. As always they give him no answer. "I'd like to think you would be. Kili is trying so hard to act more mature, to not bring shame to our name. It's...hilarious at times." Fili's lips twitch into a smile despite himself. "You'd adore him." They all say that Kili is so much like Vili, with his easy smiles and happy nature.  
  
"I'm worried about mama though. She's not happy we're going. She doesn't say so because she knows that this is something we have to do, but it's obvious that she wishes Thorin had forgotten the prophecy. I...I am worried for her." Fili admits. He has not told anyone this, tells nobody his secrets except for his father and the darkness. They'll keep his secrets, have kept them for centuries.   
  
"Who's going to look after her when we're gone? I know that she's a princess of Durin's line," his lips curl into a smile as his mother's words fall from his lips, "but what is she going to do without Kili making her laugh and Thorin to argue with? She doesn't like being alone." Long as Fili can remember their house has been warm and welcoming, dwarves coming and going and voices chasing the darkness from all nooks and crannies. His mother can't stand silence, and at times Fili has wondered just how much it scares her, catching her singing to herself in moments of quiet.   
  
"I'd ask you to look after her, but I know you're doing that anyway."   
  
Fili blinks and tilts his head back, looking up into the vast darkness of the universe, the stars winking like far away jewels. "I'm scared," he admits, blinking a little more rapidly when his vision blurs, his stomach twisting. He nearly threw up the other day from nerves.   
  
"I'm scared, but I can't show it. I'm a dwarf, I'm supposed to be brave. And...and I need to be strong. For mama and for Kili. I need to make sure nothing happens to him. But I don't...I don't know if I'm strong enough." He exhales wetly and angrily scrubs at his cheeks. What a ridiculous sight he must be.   
  
"Bet you wouldn't be proud seeing me like this," he huffs a laugh.   
  
Fili's limbs grow cold and stiff, but he stays where he is. This might be the last time he visits his father's grave. What is a sleepless night in comparison to that?   
  
"Sometimes I wonder what it would've been like, growing up with you around." It's a fantasy he has indulged in since his father went to the mines and didn't come back. "I wonder if I'd be the same or if I would be different. I wonder...I wonder if mama wouldn't be so tired and sad when she thinks nobody's watching." Fili shakes his head. "No use thinking about it, eh?"   
  
His eyelids feel gritty and Fili lies down, watching as the darkness of the sky is slowly bleached away by the approaching dawn. He imagines the spirit of his father is here, the two of them spending a last night in companionable silence.   
  
When the sun peeks over the horizon, stretching out her first, tentative rays, Fili forces himself to stand up. For a moment he is a lost dwarfling, standing and not knowing where to go.   
  
"So I guess...I guess this is goodbye." The words taste like ash in his mouth and his stomach rolls unpleasantly again. He presses a kiss to his fingertips before placing them on the pile of stones. "I promise I won't forget you, adad. I'll...I'll try and make you proud."   
  
He turns and walks away quickly before he loses his courage, forcing himself not to turn around, not to think about leaving behind the last tangible memory of his father in this world. 

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on [Tumblr](http://kopperblaze.tumblr.com) for fic previews, writing updates and prompt fills :)


End file.
